i moved

i'm trying out wordpress...
i dunno i think i'll end up staying here
here's the link... (LINK)

what do I do now?

things went from shitty to insane
at least I understood shitty
she left a comment on my myspace
damn myspace...
"Hey girly! Just wondering how
you have been. Long time no see
or chat. Send me a message or something
and let me know whats up."
..umm WHAT THE FUCK!!??!?!?!
I don't understand why she
is saying anything to me
i looked at her myspace
her relationship staus changed
she's single..i can't even
explain how impossible it has been
to keep hopes of that from entering my mind
amazing...3 days ago i would tell you
she hated me, today i'm fighing myself
trying to stop hoping that we had a chance
I didn't message her back right away
I wanted to, I wanted to message her and
tell her how happy i was to hear from her
how much i thought of her
how much i love her
yeah exactly what a terrible idea
I emailed her today
very planned..few details so hopefully
we will have more to talk about later
I hate that, I feel manipulative
She read the message but sent nothing back
so now I'm so confused
i don't understand...
why do i let myself hope so much

Dream

when i dream i see your smiling face
i can hear your sweet laughter
my heart is filled with warmth
i know i am smiling in my sleep
by the time i awake
i can no longer remember your face or laugh
i start another day off knowing that i've lost you yet again
i've stopped living outside of work
when I'm home i just want to sleep
hoping that i'll dream of you again
i re-read all the letters you've sent me
searching for hope that
your love for me was equal to my love for you
if it were i should have found it by now
but i can't bring myself to let go
i miss you
i miss hearing about your day
how you describe things
even when you complained
we ended up laughing
i miss your laugh
i miss your light